The Sandwich Method of Giving Negative Criticism (+ how to deal with it)
Look Mama, we made it! Someone doesn’t like my blog. That's it right? When people begin to criticize or 'hate' you're officially a 'celebrity'.
Obviously, I wasn't that elated when someone told me that someone told her that they didn't fancy a few things about my blog. No, I wasn't that elated. On the contrary, I considered shutting down. You know, go back into my own little shell, and avoid all forms of criticisms.
Okay I exaggerate. But, I don’t take criticisms well. My reactions are often two fold - I cry or I go quiet. Oh there's probably a third one. I argue, loose the argument and then cry.
I'm also careful with criticising negatively. I try to employ the sandwich approach. The bread, the filing, and then the bread. Where the bread = positive comment and the filing = the criticism.
Some people just love to dish out fillings. So unfair.
So if you struggle with handling negative criticisms here's some quick things to note:
Is it really negative?
Or are you just over thinking it? If your boo says you're often on the phone when they're talking to you, don't overthink that to mean you are being insensitive, unresponsive and the worst bae in the world. If unclear, ask for further details.
Perfection is an Illusion
So obviously there's room here and there for improvement. And the criticism may just be what you need to spur you on. Avoid thoughts like 'But a hundred people like my blog, why doesn’t she?' Have you considered that a hundred people may be sugar coating the truth? Or perhaps there are a few tweaks you need to make so you can appeal to a further hundred people?
Respond Calmly and Don’t Cry
Note to Self. Crying doesn’t solve anything. Grow some thick skin people. If you're going to succeed at anything, negative criticisms are most likely going to be hurled at you anyway.
Thank you and Goodbye
If you believe the criticism is really out of malice, with no genuine iota of truth, then I guess good-byes are in order. But don't forget your manners, and remember to say thank you as well! After all they were kind enough to let you know.
Remain Confident and keep being the best version of You
At the end of the day, it is just one person's view. Okay, even if a LOT of people think like that. Often, the brightest light in the room, attracts the most insects.
Take a cue from Arsene Wenger, coach of Arsenal Football Club. After a recent woeful performance by his team, he said 'After 20 years I've heard all the criticism before'. Talk about thick skin! Arsenal plays Swansea today, I hope he's ready for even more criticism. I'm definitely not buying any more Arsenal jerseys.
Have you guys been a victim of negative criticism? How did you deal with it? And how do you give negative criticism. Please Share.
pS: I'm really open to criticisms, so please let me know if you have any feedback or suggestions. I won't cry, I promise.