As you probably know, Tee & I had our 3 year wedding anniversary earlier this month. So while I finally blogged about our Nigerian (Igbo and Yoruba) traditional wedding ceremony, I also wanted to write a serious -ish post on some lessons and thoughts that have crossed my mind in these 3 years (that post should still happen, hopefully). Then again, a husband tag sounded like fun, and asking Tee some random questions seemed like a good idea - which I had considered in this Get to Know Me Tag and you peeps agreed.
I also asked readers via Instagram story if they would like to see a husband tag. Many said yes. I think they assumed it was going to be a video tag! Oooops, we're both way too shy for that. A couple of people seemed disappointed but then confirmed that they'd still love a written one. So I decided to go ahead with it - because a part of me was slightly curious about his answers.
You've probably seen a few couples do those husband tags on YouTube. I didn't particularly like a lot of the questions as these were mostly 'what's my favourite this or that?'. And even I can't tell you what my favourite anything is, so how much more he. So I skipped a lot of the 'favourite' type questions and I finally persuaded him to answer the questions. To be honest, I had a good laugh at a number of them!
1. What were your first thoughts when you saw me / earliest memory of me?
- No first thoughts particularly. You were probably like just a random girl. I mean, you were just a girl sitting in front of the social science building waiting for your friend to make a photocopy. I remember you had short braids though. After that we had the church encounter. But my fave earliest memory of you had to be our first date on your birthday in 2007! Gosh, I fell in love with your hair that day.
Me: Uhm, if you remember my hair style, then maybe it wasn't so random! Plus that was like the worst hairstyle I've ever made. Literally took it off in two days. (Details of the church encounter + first date.)
2. What do you think I can cook with my eyes closed? What would you rather cook yourself?
- Your Jollof rice! It's like the same all the time. With the leaf and the tomato sliced on top! But I'd rather make my own noodles and omelette eggs with potato or yam. Think I do those much better than you.
Me: It's called Bay Leaves.
3. What's the one way I get on your nerves the most?
- When you go into a mood and I'm trying to figure out what's wrong. Does my head in!
4. In approximately 10 years of knowing me and 3 years married, how would you say I've changed?
- You're so much more mature. You've grown up from a fine young girl (who always wanted to jump) to a fine young woman.
Me: I still want to jump and be a child sometimes. (Guys remember this post on being and unleashing your inner child, inspired by me wanting to get on the trampoline recently and he giving me side eye that I'm too old to jump!)
5. If money were no object, what gift would you buy for me for our anniversary?
- You know I believe more in creating memories. So it'll probably be like a super crazy and fun filled series of holidays. Plus I don't think you're a very material person as well.
Me: Yeah my love language has definitely changed over time. I used to like tangible gifts. (See this post on my 25th birthday and my tangible gift dilemma - Gift Preferences: Tangible Gifts, Memories/Experiences or Money?)
6. What's your favourite memory of our wedding day?
- Definitely taking the vows! Ah, so deep. And at the reception, it has to be when my friends and I took over the band and sang the yoruba song 'Baby Jowo' to you.
Me: You did struggle to hold back the tears at the wedding. I agree that for me as well, that was definitely one of the 5 most amazing moments at our wedding.
7. What's my best non-physical trait?
- How smart you are! I can actually never forget how you remembered my exam number for my IELTS exam in 2009 or so. You barely saw the slip once, and weeks or months later you still remembered. I got to the exam hall without the slip and didn't remember my number. I wouldn't have been able to write the exam, but I took a chance and called you to ask if you could remember it, and you did!
Me: *butter flies, butterflies* Not sure my memory is that good anymore, so may be don't bank on it though!
8. Who said 'I love you' first, and where did you say you loved me?
Definitely me. I think I sent you a text. Hahaha. And then when you came over to social sciences building, we met up in one of the classrooms and I told you in person I think. Memory is a bit fuzzy here.
Me: Yeah, I don't particularly remember details either.
9. If you had a yacht and had to name it after me or related to me, what would it be?
- Sorry, I'm not that creative so it'll just be KacheeTee!
10. If you could get rid of one item of clothing or anything else that belongs to me, what would it be?
- The first thing that comes to mind is Culottes! But of course I don't even hate them in the least. Not sure there's really anything I'd get rid of.
11. What's the best gift I've given you?
- Best gift is yourself. Honestly & Genuinely
Me: Now you're gonna make me cry. Lol!
12. Would you marry me again?
- Yes. And have that vow taking moment again
(I suggest a vow renewal, he says it's not quite the same!)
13. In the next three years what are you looking forward to the most?
- Starting and raising a family!
14. Describe our relationship in three words
This sounds like one of those 'tell me about yourself questions'. The first word is definitely Beautiful. But I don't want to go on using perfect words, and I'm not sure I can find the exact words - English isn't my strongest point. But it's related to sacrifice and the willingness to give all.
In all of his answers, I'm not sure there's anything that pretty shocked me. But it was just good to relieve memories and have a good laugh! There was one more question about what we argue about the most, and we couldn't obviously pinpoint one thing. That's not to say we don't argue or have differences but at least there's not one constant thing.
On a lighter note though, I did think about how recently we have to really agree on what music gets played in the car. As you probably know I'm not such a music person, but Tee is, and I love that he loves his music. The only slight issue here is my brain. A lot of songs (especially Nigerian songs!) have lyrics that annoy me a whole lot. The thing is Tee (like most people apparently) do not pay heed to these lyrics. They apparently don't hear it, and are just more about the beat.
Me, I can't hear any beat. My brain soaks up the lyrics like a sponge and then keep re-playing in my head over and over. So now, he plays a song in the car, and we both have to decide if it's clean enough for my brain. I just think it's interesting how these little differences show up in marriage.
All in all, I think it's amazing being married. And I'm glad I'm hearing and seeing better stories these days. No marriage is perfect; it will require work & sacrifice, there will be good days & not-so-good days. But in the long run, I'm a huge fan of the marriage institution!
pS: That photo above is one of my all time faves! From about 4 years ago in 2013, in Amsterdam when we travelled together for the first time. We were engaged, but not yet married. It was very low budget and all, but we still had such a great time! You can check out our more recent travels in the blog travel section, and more of our story /wedding / moments in the relationship section.
ppS: If you're interested in more love stories, read from Nigerian Inter-Ethnic Couples here!