During our last holiday to Nigeria and while helping me unpack (or maybe just looking through my suitcase wondering where all the "goodies" were ) my sister noticed that the Mr and I had exactly the same toothbrush. "How Sweet" she said. Even though she probably rolled her eyes in her mind. "Yeah, that was the only kind they had in the store and we couldn't be bothered. So sometimes I'm pretty sure we use the same one" I replied. If she didn't roll her eyes before, I'm pretty sure she did at this point! Like why share toothbrush? "Well sorry, I can't share toothbrush" with anyone. And of course in my overly analytical fashion, I started thinking of all the things some married people say they can't share. Quick run through shall we?
- Bathroom Essentials: Toothbrush, Towels, Sponge:
Maybe I'm just a little bit too carefree. But I'm all for sharing all of these. Not intentionally. Of course, we're not trying to save a few pennies by not buying two toothbrushes instead of one. But if for some reason it happens then go for it. A typical example will be going on holiday and forgetting mine. Hey what are husbands for? Some people will probably rather just use a mouthwash or not even brush at all. I don't think the argument that it goes in the mouth is valid as well - not if you happen to be kissing such spouse. And not if you use cutlery in restaurants that you don't even know whose mouth its been in. If there are health reasons why you shouldn't share (trying so hard to think of one now) then that's understandable. Towels however, why not? Especially when you go to hotels and use the towels a million people have probably used.
- Bedroom in its Entirety:
Last weekend, while visiting friends, I'm not sure how we ended up talking about mattresses. While a friend's husband likes really hard mattresses, she likes really soft ones. So although she's been enduring the hardness for a while, they're considering getting one of those half and half mattresses which have one side as half and the other side as soft. Oh dear! Thank God, there's a solution to this now as this is one reason couples refuse to share a bed. Other than this some people just prefer to sleep in separate beds - perhaps because one who snores (un)fortunately married one who can't tolerate a sonre. I'm personally an advocate of sleeping in the same bed. I think it enhances some form of bonding and truly speaking, many unnecessary arguments are settled in the middle of the night. If you slept on the couch, you really just wake up determined to continue being angry! Nevertheless, I know many ladies like to have space (i.e a walk in closet and a fancy dressing table). So I actually quite like the idea of having a separate room for that - just without a bed. So that's what I hope to do. What do you think?
- Passwords - to Phones, Emails, Social Media and Bank accounts:
This one sort of baffles me. Like we sleep in the same bed and I have taken your surname and yet I won't have the 4 digit password to your phone? Asides the obvious need for openness and trust, there could be a genuine emergency that would require you to need these details. They've been times when I had access stuff from the husband's email and he's unavailable so I can't ask him to send it. I just happily log in. More importantly, for bank accounts even if you're not a signatory to the account ( I'm team joint and separate accounts) I think it's important to at least know the online banking details - and this doesn't mean you should misuse it. A good marriage should really be an open book, and the earlier our relationships are built on such openness, the better.
This one ladies love to share. Sort of. Not our food, but our man's food. I mean we always love to eat out of our man's plate - even if we ordered the exact same thing! And when we happen to have different dishes, the man's plate always look nicer, so we pinch out of it! I'm not sure why men still make a big deal of us eating out their plates. Get over it already!
What do you guys think? What are you willing to share and what are you not? You know I appreciate your comments (and we learn from them) so be lavish - the longer, the better!
Update: So, I did a bit of research and I guess I'm the weird one. Apparently, sharing of toothbrushes is not recommended and is probably worse than kissing and sharing cutlery. Especially because sometimes we bleed while brushing and residue easily remains on the toothbrush and can be transferred - which can be really bad if someone has Hepatitis. So yeah, you don't have to share that!