My husband's friends are absolute clowns and I often have such a good time with them to be honest. On holiday recently, they jokingly commented that I hadn't written any post about them. They sort of bullied me to be honest, and so this one's for them!
Whenever they are together, they continuously talk about how the best holidays they've had is the one without me in it! Obviously the husband knows better than to agree with them.
In conversation recently, the issue arose as to whether I'll allow the husband go on a separate holiday with them now that we're married.
I honestly think it's fine (subject of course to a few factors). Obviously, there's a part of you that will wonder what they're going to talk about (and if your husband will hurry home to share every minute detail). You may also consider the location and the possibility of a bevy of fleek ladies surrounding their every move. If they're going to climb the Mount Everest, by all means they should go. But Vegas, ehm… thou shall not put asunder to my marriage.
Jokes aside, there are actually several reasons I'm okay with a mini men-only vacation.
1. Because I'll do the same!: Of course I want to book a mini holiday with my girls as well. Of spa dates, shopping and girl-talk. So, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
2. Foster and maintain friendship: Everyone seems to be in different parts of the globe these days and your husband's best friends may not actually live in the same city as you do. A mini-holiday is a great way for them to meet up.
3. Business talks: I'll like to assume they are having serious conversations about the stock market and prime locations to invest in property. It's a great way to network and talk some serious talk, maybe over a few drinks.
4. Develop personal interests: If your husband and his friends absolutely live for skiing and you can't ever comprehend it, wouldn't it be a bit unfair to deprive him of a skiing holiday? I think solo holidays are a great way to develop personal interests unique to both of you.
5. Absence makes the heart grow fonder? - Just a little absence. And when he get's back home, it's almost as if you fall in love with him all over again.
6. You're in a secure relationship: If you have doubts about your man going away with his friends for a break, then may be you should actually consider the root of such doubts/insecurities.
7. A chance to be a super-hero: Imagine him walking home and realise that you've changed that light bulb all by yourself. Whooop! I've spoken to a few women and they agree that their husband is away, they tend to achieve so much more. I talked about my experience in this post here.
In agreeing to a men-only vacation I think the below tips would be useful to consider:
- What's his motivation: If he's trying to get away, due to troubles in your relationship or simply because he needs a 'break', then it might not be such a wise idea and it may be better to actually first ensure that your relationship is secure before he heads out.
- Which friend is coming along?: First off, it's helpful to know the guys going on the trip and be assured that your husband is in good company. Evil communication corrupts good manners. You also want to have their contact details in case of an emergency.
- Keep it short. Sorry hun, you can't go away for a month with your goons. I think such solo-vacations should be short, and possibly no more than 7 days.
- Schedule yours at the same time: If you can arrange for a girl-only holiday at about the same time, I think that will be great. That way you're having a holiday as well, and you don't hate him for posting vacay pictures on Instagram while you're struggling with vacuuming the home.
- Not on special occasions: Nope, you can't have a guy-only holiday on either of our birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas/New Year and other special occasions. Those are special and we create those memories together as much as possible.
- Keep in touch: It's easy to imagine the worst when you don't hear from your significant other. So, while you're away guys, please keep in touch and most importantly let us know how you'd rather have us with you there. Haha!
- Play fair: I'll think it'll be unfair for your husband to agree to a guy-only holiday far beyond you both can afford as a family. Also, if you both haven't gone on any private holidays in a long time, going away on a solo-vacation shouldn’t really be a priority. If you've got kids, and your husband generally helps out (as he should) with them, he should also consider making alternative arrangements and not leave you stressed out with nappies and bottles while he's on holiday. If you've not got kids, he should totally make alternative arrangements to take the bins out!
Ultimately there are no hard and fast rules, and your relationship comes first before any guy or girl friends. So that I think should be priority.
What do you think? Happy for your husband to go away with his mates or Nayy? Would you restrict where they can go and what friends he can go with. Gentlemen, any thoughts? Leave a comment and share with us, pretty please.
pS: Why do I have a feeling after all this I've said, I'm still going to tag along on such holiday. Ok Ok, I'll give them the first 3 days, and then meet them up for the last four days of the holiday!